It was 3 in the morning. My alarm was set to go off at 4. As I laid on the couch, my mind was racing. So many thoughts rushed through my head. I needed to go back to sleep, I had a long day ahead of me. But that wasn’t happening.
Matt loaded up the car as I ate a pack of fruit snacks and then we were off. I sat quiet, staring out the car window, knowing that in about 24 hours, I was going to be a mom. And that scared me. I never showed it.
“What’s going through your head, babe? What are you feeling?” Matt asked.
“Everything. Happy, scared, nervous, anxious.”
We pulled up to the hospital, parked the car, and made my last walk as a pregnant woman to labor and delivery. We got there at 5:30am, checked in, was taken to my room, and it all became kind of a blur after that.
At 7am, I was given my first round of inducing medicine. I never felt the contractions until the second round, when they started feeling like light cramps. Nothing too bad. I just laid there in bed, eating ice chips and watching TV. Poor Matt was bored out of his mind. He went down to the coffee shop to get some breakfast and he came back with a stuffed elephant, flowers and a balloon. I held onto that elephant until they wouldn’t let me anymore.
Somewhere around noon, I wasn’t advancing on my contractions, so they decided to break my water. I won’t go into detail on that little procedure, but ooh wee, was that something I’d be okay not experiencing again. After that, and putting me on pitocin, my contractions started getting stronger, but still not too bad. It wasn’t until about 3pm when all of a sudden my contractions started hitting me in my back. I didn’t hesitate to ask for the epidural.
I remember having the shakes really bad, vomiting, being put on oxygen and dozing off here and there. My dilation and effacement stayed the same for almost 6 hours. My doctor came in a few times to check and the baby wasn’t dropping into the birth canal. They tried having me lay on both sides for 30 minutes at a time and even turning over onto my hands and knees to see if she’d move or turn.
It was late. Almost midnight. The nurses were waiting on the call from my doctor. It was time. Baby wasn’t dropping and her heart rate was all over the place. She was going to come via Caesarian section and I didn’t care. I wanted her healthy. I remember multiple nurses all over my room and being pushed to the O.R.; being moved from my bed to the operating table.
I laid there, numb, body shaking uncontrollably. The anesthesiologist tech talking to me, keeping me calm. Matt by my side, holding my hand, as I felt tugging, pulling, pushing in my lower abdomen. She had wrapped herself up in the umbilical cord multiple times.
Then I heard it. Her first cry. And I started crying uncontrollable happy tears. Then I looked up and my doctor was holding her above the sheet so I could see her. I cried even more. Matt was able to take pictures of her getting all cleaned up and checked out. They then brought her to my side so I could see her. She was perfect.
I was beyond exhausted. 18 hours in labor, then followed by surgery and recovery. It wasn’t until almost 4am that we got to go to our room, where we all slept for a few hours. Late morning came and I finally got to hold my baby girl in my arms, unassisted. She was worth it all.
Bailee Anne was born on January 5, 2018 at 1:02am, weighing in at 7lbs and measuring 20 inches long. My whole world in such a tiny human.