I’m Not Helpless, I’m Pregnant…

I found myself saying this almost every week of my pregnancy. I refused to be one of those women who used her pregnancy as a crutch. I wanted to be as independent as possible while carrying this child.

“No. I can lift it.”

“I don’t need a damn elevator.”

“Let me pick it up.”

And for the most part, I did a lot of things by myself. My husband knew not to do something for me unless I asked him for help, and that wasn’t very often. Sometimes being stubborn isn’t the best thing when you’re pregnant. Oopsy.

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My first trimester was way easier than all the horror stories I heard about. “Morning sickness will consume you”, “Fatigue is crazy strong”, “Headaches will knock you on your butt”. But somehow I only managed to get the fatigue. I took a nap almost every single day. Sometimes only 30 minutes, other times three hour ones. It also caused me to lose a lot of motivation in the health and fitness aspect. I only went to the gym maybe twice a week. And I was eating salty, fried foods like nobody’s business.

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I wanted to be that “fit mom”, the one lifting the heavy weights and gettin’ down on the stair climber. I didn’t want to gain a ton of weight if I could help it. I had worked so hard for the 11 weeks prior to finding out we were pregnant to lose 17lbs for our vacation and I wanted to keep that motivation going. I was 140lbs when we found out and I’m proud to say I only gained 49lbs during my pregnancy (that may be a lot to some of you, but I was just glad I didn’t hit 200lbs).

Second trimester came and went like a Texas spring. It was my awkward phase of “Do I even look pregnant or just fat?” and “Why do I feel way bigger than all these other pregnant women?” I was constantly comparing myself. I stopped caring though after the first time I felt my baby kick. It had been after a long 4 hours of being on my feet at work, I finally got to relax, laid in bed and next thing I know, I felt a punch. And then a kick. And another one. From the inside. I’d been patiently waiting for the day I got to feel this babe inside me move.

It was also a trimester filled with a lot of love during two baby showers and we even got to find out gender! We both were hoping and wanting a boy, but I just had this deep feeling when we went in that it was going to be a girl. And I was right! Matt was slightly bummed, but he got over it pretty quickly because he knew he was getting a daddy’s girl.

As my due date and third trimester inches closer, things started getting more and more surreal. I was getting big, appointments were happening more, and I even got to go home for the first time in almost two years for my friend and family baby shower. I even got to take maternity photos, (which I’m still so in love with. Thanks Felicia!) I had quit my job the day before I turned 7 months pregnant and it was an amazing feeling. I spent most of my days hanging out, trying to keep busy with leatherwork and the pups, and watching my belly move every hour of the day. My dad even came to visit!

We had our 36 week appointment and I was beyond excited for it! We were going to get to see her again and see who she looked more like. Safe to say it’s a pretty even combination of Matt and I.

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Everything about her and I looked healthy. It wasn’t until my appointment the next week that things changed. It was a Thursday, and I was by myself. My urine sample showed signs of protein and my blood pressure was 142/90. Signs of mild preeclampsia. I would have to get a blood pressure monitor to track all weekend and collect my urine for a 24-hour period on Monday. If they both came back high the following Tuesday, I would have to be induced that Thursday. Wait, what?! My stress level went through the roof after I was told that.

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So Tuesday rolls around and I was supposed to drop off my urine that morning, going back later in the afternoon for my appointment. Well they decided just to see me right then. My blood pressure was still high, so I needed to get blood work done. My OB ordered a rush on both the urine and blood work.

I remember getting the call. “Your tests came back and you have mild preeclampsia. We’ve scheduled you for your induction on Thursday at 5:30am.” My heart sank. I walked out of the bedroom, looked at Matt and just started crying. He held me and told me it was all for the better of our baby girl. I was just so upset that everything had changed in a matter of one week. I was just a bundle of emotions. The next day I just laid in bed most of the day, occasionally getting up to pack my hospital bag. I was blah. 38 weeks pregnant and about to have my little one come earlier than expected. I just didn’t know what to think.

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I had told myself I was ready…

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2 thoughts on “I’m Not Helpless, I’m Pregnant…

  1. Anonymous says:

    You don’t think that you put a little to much of yourself out there? Just seems to me in this day and time, with all the digital nosing around, someone sometime, somewhere can use this info against you! JUST LOVE YOU AND WORRY ABOUT YOU!

    • Michelle Marie says:

      I guess I’m not sure how anyone could use any of this against me. It’s my story. If they’d want to use this against me, they’d have to do it to the thousands of other people who tell their stories as well.

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